October 2002

son of jackass // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Sunday, 10.27.02
Saw the Jackass Movie in Secaucus the other night, and not surprisingly, the theater was bordering on empty. Why? For some reason, thugged out black dudes don't find self mutilation all that funny. And who goes to the Lowes at Secaucus? Thugged out black dudes! But anyway, Rachel and myself (who for the record are not thugged out black dudes) liked the movie tons. I especially enjoyed the papercuts, the rent-a-car bit, and the Butterbean fight. But of course, the greatest part featured Rollins driving a Hummer through the desert while Steve-O got a tattoo in the backseat. And they played Black Flag's "Drinking and Driving" for the whole segment! Whoo! Right now, I'd like to give a shout out to my girl, who not only saw Jackass with me on Friday, but also got four widsom teeth ripped from her skull, and waited on line with me at the DMV for almost two hours! Fucking blood dripping out from the corners of her mouth, face numb with novocaine, and my girl still kicks the shit out of your stupid girlfriend.

i'm a fruit // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 10.21.02
Well well well, big flippin' surprise, I did the worst among everyone in the office football pool. Even that blind girl who can't speak English picked more winners than I did. I picked about 4 winning teams out of, like, 782 games. Who knew that one's lack of athletic ability would influence how well they can gamble on sports. I"m gonna set up my own gambling ring, where the person with the flabbiest man-tits gets to win some cold hard cash. Finally, those 21 years of letting myself go will pay off.

manly things // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Thursday, 10.17.02
I'm such a fucking man. Why? Because my office set up a football pool, and I threw down my 2 bucks and picked some teams, son of a bitch. The extent of my interest in football is a copy of NFL2K that came with the Dreamcast Rachel bought me two years ago. I played it for about five minutes, my team lost 187 to -12, and it quickly went to the bottom of the pile to be replaced by NHL2K, because hockey is way fucking cooler. Anyway, I picked a bunch of teams for my office pool based solely on teams with pretty colors and teams that sounded mean. Can I have a limper wrist, please? *roar*

it is raining again! // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 10.16.02
Jersey has just gotten over a period of rain for about 3 weeks or something close to it. Unfortunately, it is raining again. I know we all need the rain and the drought is supposed to be important, but I am going to be trivial and tell you how much I hate the fucking rain. Not only did we not have the fall season that I have been longing for, winter came in like 2 days after summer ended. It is cold, gross, miserable, and wet outside at this lovely campus of Rutgers University-Newark. My hands are still cold not to mention I left the outdoors an hour ago. But, I will be warm eventually.

RU who? // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 10.15.02
If you're a Jersey resident, chances are you've heard the devastating news that my soon-to-be Alma Mader is merging with other campuses and losing its name. Rutgers University will soon be known as "New Jersey University," and we'll be merging with other prestigious learning institutions such as NJIT, Hamburger U, and some guy's house in Camden. See, Rutgers is divided into three campuses: Newark (where the thugs are iced out wit' tha blingy-bling}, New Brunswick (the STD capitol of the northern hemisphere) and Camden (which doesn't really exist). Rachel and I go to the Newark campus, because we're street-hardended criminals and we love gang violence. Also, it costs us about $5 each to go here. But, Rutgers is still considered a fairly decent college, no matter which campus you go to, except ours and Camden (which doesn't exist). Actually, you know what, fuck it, our college sucks. Change the name all you want. In fact, name it after someone hard, like Vin Diesel. Diesel College of Arts and Sciences and Throwing People Through Plate Glass Windows.

john vs. supafly // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Thursday, 10.10.02
This fucking fly flew into my open car window this morning, and almost caused a 700 car pileup. I was stopped at a red light, and for some reason, I needed my right foot to aid me in my battle against the winged beast. For those of you who don't drive, or for those of you who drive with your hands, your right foot usually holds the brake, thereby stopping your vehicle from plowing into old ladies and off dangerous cliffs. The fly survived somehow, despite my numerous girly swats at him, and is now conserving his energy and anger. When I open my car door tonight, he will dart for my face, hatch eggs in my eyeballs and drive home to my loving family. That's right, he's going to take over my life and have sex with my girlfriend while wearing my denim jacket with the furry collar. Fucking fly.

thismayhurt.com // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 10.07.02
I have to say that thismayhurt.com is the best website ever made. John is so creative and works very hard at making this site look beautiful. He does an outstanding job.

at my job // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 10.07.02

audioslave // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 10.04.02
This just in... Audioslave, a collaboration between Chris Cornell and the musicians from Rage Against the Machine sounds like... brace yourself... Chris Cornell singing over musical backing from Rage Against the Machine. I'm not exactly sure what I expected, but if it was recycled crap, then I'm in heaps of luck.

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