October 2004

macswag // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 10.27.04
OK, this is the last Mac-related junk drawer post for this week, I swear. My friend Ben set up a cafepress store to celebrate his first year as a Mac user, check it out here: cafepress.com/macswag. Some really nice, clean designs that you should buy and love, and I'm not just saying that so Ben will start writing for the site. So please, buy buy buy.

new iPods // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 10.26.04
Apple released two new iPod flavors today, the iPod Photo and the U2 iPod. The color screen of the iPod Photo looks really nice, but since I'm not a big picture taker, this doesn't really do anything for me. And yeah, I guess having album covers accompanying the currently playing track is kinda cool, but not really necessary. The U2 iPod, on the other hand, has a pretty nice case, until you see the back of it. I really don't want Bono's signature on my mp3 player. I still use my 2nd generation iPod every day, and I won't get a new one until Apple decides to ditch that mirrored back and add a stapler/tape dispenser/post-it note dispenser. Then it would be perfect.

Nintendo DS pyramid scheme // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 10.18.04
All right, we've all seen these WIN A FREE iPOD / WIN A FREE GOLDEN GREEN X-BOX bullshit pyramid schemes, and we're all too smart to fall for something so shady and spam-like, right? Of course we are. But I've found something that's totally different, because... see, this one is for a free Nintendo DS, not a free iPod / golden green X-Box. If you'd like to sell your name to godless spam companies, please sign up for this super-safe, highly reputable FREE NINTENDO DS program. All you have to do is create a new eBay account (using the link found on the page after you enter your soon-to-be-overflowing-with-SPAM email address) and place a bid on one item. If you want a free Nintendo DS of your own that will never show up because the internet is full of lies, just get three of your friends to sign up under you. Or if you're like me, and you don't have any friends, post your link on your super popular website like I'm doing right here, and prepare to receive absolutely nothing except shame and offers for F-R3E V1-@GR-A fifteen times a day, every day, until you are dead.

album reviews // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Thursday, 10.14.04
I usually don't condone purchasing music, but everyone should support the following artists (myself included) and their new albums.

Tub Ring - Zoo Hypothesis (tubring.com)
If I was in charge of making a list of the best albums of 2004, Zoo Hypothesis would be at the very top. Tub Ring is like Mindless Self Indulgence for folks in their 20's: Not as ridiculously over-the-top, but eclectic and interesting enough to hold my short attention span. From theprp.com's review: "The band capably break into a death metal-styled barrage and then fade back into a quaint upbeat 50's sounding jingle without batting an eye. While such a dynamic contrast is extreme by most standards, the way in which they pull it off makes it feel eerily smooth.". Yes. Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself, so I didn't even bother.
Preview. Buy it.

Jello Biafra and the Melvins - Never Breathe What You Can't See (alternativetentacles.com)
Jello Biafra was the Dead Kennedys. Sure, the rest of the band is still touring without him (over a royalties dispute), but I can't take them seriously without hearing Biafra's manic delivery and twisted cynicism. But, for all intents and purposes, Never Breathe What You Can't See is the new Dead Kennedy's album, at least in my eyes. The usually slow and droaning Melvins have upped the tempo a bit while still holding onto their overbearing heaviness, and it works! Biafra's lyrics have evolved as well... no more drunken frat boys wrapping their "Buzzbomb" muscle cars around a tree; instead we get overweight businessmen sitting white knuckled behind the wheels of their "Yuppie Cadillac"s, late for a meeting more important than yours, their Krispy Kreme's are getting cold! Great stuff, and I hear they'll be playing classic DK songs on their upcoming tour (hopefully they'll hit up the east coast.)
Buy it.

GWAR - War Party (gwar.net)
Jesus, another brutal album from the most dangerous band on the planet. GWAR went through a period of "jazzercise" albums (Ragnarok, Carnival of Chaos, We Kill Everything), where you'd get four or five heavy songs, and the rest were ridiculously goofy. Violent and funny, but goofy nonetheless. Now that Dave Brockie (Oderus, vocals) has his Dave Brockie Experience side project, he gets to be as goofy as he wants, and keep GWAR strictly metal. In their 8 album, 16 year history, War Party is GWAR at their heaviest. I won't say that this is my favorite album (since Scumdogs of the Universe and America Must Be Destroyed will always have a special place in my heart), but I think it will be up there after a few more listens (and a lyric sheet). My only complaint is the album cover. What the hell happened? Their last album, "Violence Has Arrived," had one of their best covers to date, and this one looks like a mid 90's Photoshop calamity. Hopefully it's only temporary, as the album hasn't been released yet, but you can't judge an album by its cover. Inside is a festering, rotting pile of GWAR's heaviest material, and I'm sure they'll be working on ways to wipe the human race off the planet for years to come.
Buy it.

hello hello (fucking XM) // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 10.08.04
So I got a new car a few months ago, and it came with XM Satellite Radio pre-installed with a 3 month trial. I didn't use it very often, since my car also came with a 6 CD changer, and I'd much rather listen to my own stuff than a random playlist of artists that I've never heard of. But, the idea of unedited, uncensored and un-commercial interrupted radio made me keep XM after the trial ended. I listen to the Comedy channel (unedited stand-up comedians), Fungus (punk) and the Rhyme (old school hip hop), but usually only for about 5 minutes at a time before I switch back to a CD. But today! Goddamit, XM. Howard Stern announced that he is moving to Sirius in 2006... I've been listening to Howard nearly every day of my life since I was 13. Sorry XM, but once I figure out a way to remove you from my car, I'm going to do so. Dopey unedited comedians are one thing... but dopey unedited shock jocks are something entirely different. If anyone knows what type of voodoo it will take to remove XM from a 2004 Accord and replace it with Sirius without using some ghetto stand-alone unit, please let me know.

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