November 2003

hppy b-day bby! // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 11.17.03
Happy Birthday Rachel! I should have posted this yesterday, on your actual birthday, but I was too busy showering you with love and affection. Welcome to the exciting, unpredictable, orgasm-inducing world of 22! Hang on tight... it can be a wild ride! Whooooooo! Yeah! Uh... whee? Sorry, 22 kinda sucks. But hey, dinner was pretty good, right? I hope all of your magical birthday wishes came true.

nirvana covers // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Saturday, 11.15.03
While it's very sad that Kurt Cobain has been dead nearly 10 years now, it's even more sad that the talentless bands of today seek to pay tribute to him. Limp Bizkit covering "You Know You're Right" in concert? *thud* Wait... did you hear that? *thud* There it is again... *thud* What could it be? *thud* Oh... it's Kurt rolling over in his grave, even though he was cremated after his wife had him bumped off. Fear Factory covering "School" on their forthcoming album Archetype has some potential, I guess, but still... weird. Perhaps the worst abomination against one of the greatest bands of our generation comes from Evanescence, however, who took it upon themselves to cover "Heart Shaped Box." Why? Who the fuck are you guys, anyway, and why do I want to kill all of you with rusty dental equipment?

6 hours 38 minutes // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 11.12.03
6 hours and 38 minutes. That's how far away Norfolk, VA is from Northern New Jersey. Why would I possibly need directions to Norfolk, VA? Because that's where The Norva is located. Who's playing there on New Year's Eve? Who else? Who just bought two tickets? Again, who else? Let's just hope they don't plan a warm up show in the city... like we wouldn't go to both.

TMH® Music® Store®!® // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 11.12.03
Since every company on the fucking planet feels the need to set up an internet based music store, I feel it's time for me to cash in on the latest trend that we'll all look back on in 2 months and say, "WTF DUED?" Unlike other crappy music stores, the thismayhurt®.com® music® store® is 100% illegal and fully endorsed by absolutely no one except for my money hungry ass. Here's how it works: You send me $20, and I send you a CD-R full of your favorite artists! It's as simple as that! I have a 20 gig iPod full of the songs you need to listen to. You like GWAR? Sure, we all do. How about the nearly-unlistenable "music" of Atari Teenage Riot? We got that, too! Maybe you're a pussy, and you enjoy weeping to the newest Radiohead album? I'll knock down some misunderstood emo boy and take his copy. Whatever you're into, I'll gladly sell you my illegally procured files for fun and profit! Act now, supplies are infinite!

street idiots // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 11.03.03
It's pitch black outside and there are several idiots playing football in the street in front of my house. Rachel will be here soon, and I can't think of a better time for her to smoke a cigarette, talk on her cell phone, drink a slurpee, do her nails, write her thesis and comb her hair while driving, because, y'know, maybe she'll accidentally kill all of them with her vehicle. My new boots smell weird. Thusly, my feet smell weird. The end.

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