February 2003

happy birthday! // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 02.28.03
Even though I am a little bit late, I want to wish thismayhurt.com a happy birthday. It has been a year that John has worked very hard on this site and he does a awesome job. As you can see, he is meant to do this kind of stuff simply because he loves it and it comes easily to him. Happy Birthday to something that keeps my boyfriend sane. Hooray!

cake // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 02.28.03
This was the second consecutive Friday in which I ate cake in a room full of people I don't know at my internship. Last week was a birthday, this week was a going away party. And I'm not complaining, because hey, free cake. Although I'm wearing a nametag which lets everyone within a five mile radius know that I'm an intern, I'm pretty sure these people think I'm some guy off the street who likes cake. And since I'm just a lowly intern, I basically am some guy off the street who likes cake. At least, that's what my resume said.

find the smell // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 02.26.03
The broom closet that I work in at my internship smelled awesome. The aroma entered my broom closet at around 2:00, and I was immediately reminded of those carts in the city that sell hot nuts coated in sugar. About a half hour later, random people enter my broom closet to ask me if I'm smoking a cigar, if I've seen someone smoking a cigar, or if I am, in fact, a smoked cigar. I tell some man that it smells more like roasted nuts than a cigar, and he just looks at me and leaves. A janitor is coating the hallways and my broom closet with a flowery air freshner, so now it just smells like someone took a shit. Oh, and my hands are so cold that I am warming them my shoving them into my retarded computer's CD drive. Also, I am hungry. Did I mention this is an unpaid internship?

huh huh, you said 'finger' // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 02.11.03
I work at a computer helpdesk, and when a user forgets their username, we have a pretty basic procedure to figure it out. Let's say your name was Melvin Fleebish, and you were all, "Deh, I know I come in here every thirty five minutes, but what's my username again?" Well, I would log into pegasus (our student server) and type the UNIX command "finger fleebish". It would then find every user with the last name Fleebish. Yeah, that's all well and good, but I can't not feel dirty when I type the word "finger" and then the name of the person hovering over my shoulder. Fucking UNIX geeks with their dirty commands. It's like me asking you, "So, what's your name?" And then you say, "Joe." And then I write the words "Fuck Joe in the Ass" on a piece of paper and handed it to you.

M.J. // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Saturday, 02.08.03
I just recently watched the bizarre interview with Michael Jackson that my boyfriend lovingly taped for me. Wierd? Definitely. Scary? Most Definitely. But for some strange reason, probably because he has a clever method of fooling people, I felt horribly bad for him. Unfortunately, this guy is just living his life the only way he knows how. Even though it is going to be extremely difficult for the "normal" people in the world to make sense of his life, we all need to realize he has psychological problems that are so deeply rooted within him that he doesn't even know they exist. But in the end, I am saddened by his misfortune. Now that I just made everyone cry, I bid you a good night :)

hooray! oh. // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 02.03.03
This just in, we're fucking morons.

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