April 2003

americanized // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 04.29.03
Today was a lovely day but I noticed something while John and I were walking to our classes. We looked like the all-american couple. I have on a tommy hillfiger shirt and jeans with a pair of very preppy loafers while John has on a crisply ironed plain shirt with his pearly white adidas sneakers. If you saw us you would have laughed hysterically. We even laughed at ourselves. Then later on during the day we had a very interesting conversation. We were talking about the future and our apartment we will eventually get. But the best portion of the conversation was about what objects we are going to throw at each other when we get into a fight. Now he is a very relaxed type of guy, but I would not want to be in the room when he blows. They always said you have to watch out for those quiet ones. So I said that I would throw a glass ketchup bottle at him and then he said he would slit my throat with the broken glass. The End.

school's out! // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 04.28.03
I can't believe I am graduating in 3 weeks(or something like that). It's all over: the traffic getting into the lovely town of Newark, the stupid classes that I could have passed about 10 years ago, and last but not least, dealing with the "diverse" campus of miserable people. It feels good to get out and the only thing I would have missed is staying in my life. I would have never survived without the beautiful person who created this site. I love you more than all of the water in the ocean, the stars in the sky, and the land on this earth.

wed. = suck // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 04.23.03
If you were my girlfriend, or confused boyfriend, you'd get to hear all about why my Wednesdays are ass, and why you shouldn't come within 20 yards of me until Thursday. See, as most of you know, I'm unmotivated, slow and unbelievably handsome. Although I know it's difficult, let's forget about my handsomeness and focus more on my unwillingness to do -- well, anything really. Wednesday is all like, "Good morning John! Let's get up and take on the world! Whooo!" and I'm all, "Die, please. K? Thanks."

10 - 11:30 is my Advanced Journalism class. I then have to find a Warp Zone that will take me to my internship, which starts at the same time my first class ends. Luckily, eveyone has forgotten that I still work here, so I can write humorous site updates for four hours. At 3:30 my internship ends, and I have to walk back to campus to start work at 4. This takes about 10 minutes, plus the 5 minutes to pick up my dinner from Daily Soup, plus the 10 minutes to eat it. This leaves me five minutes to sob gently through the hallways of Engelhard Hall, where my job awaits. Deal with moronic half-wits until 7, then go home. Tonight is extra special, since I have a paper to write that I somewhat, sort-of, not really at all started. Sounds like someone has a case of the Wednesdays.

time well spent // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 04.21.03
Do you know what I did at work today? I assume you wouldn't know so I will proceed to tell you. Well, I stood up for two hours then sat down for a couple of minutes. Then I stood up again, got some water, and then sat back down again. A couple of minutes later, I went to eat lunch and bought a magazine to occupy the next 5 hours of my time. Finally, a couple of hours after that, I got to go home. Who is going to buy jewelery at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Monday? People must have better things to do.

blood and brains // rachel threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 04.15.03
When I walk into the research lab I usually see a few beakers with miscellaneous chemicals in them and my dirty labcoat hanging by the doorway. Today I walked into my lab and I see two dead birds with their bloody innards showing. I put two and two together and realized that the lab assistant is sacrificing the birds I was working with. Then I watch him cut their heads off, crack through their skulls, and take their brains out.The goal is to see if neurogenesis occurs in the ring dove. I know I know, science will benefit from this, but it was rather disgusting.

FF Origins // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Thursday, 04.10.03
I traded in the Wind Waker last week and got $30 credit at Electronics Boutique. And, as luck would have it, Final Fantasy Origins was just released, and it's $29.99. FFO is a collection of Final Fantasy I and II, but redone to look more like the greatest game of all time: FF6 (or 3 in the US, fuck, that's annoying). So basically, I traded in a brand new, not-even-a-month-old game to pick up two games from nearly a decade ago. I'm sure it will be a fair trade, even though I've never played FF I, and FF II wasn't released in the US before this. Dur-hurrr, I like video games.

chocolate covered pretzel? // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 04.08.03
Haha, some army guys "stink palm"ed Geraldo, as reported by the Pioneer Press (whatever the fuck that is). The "stink palm" was made famous by Brodie in Mallrats, and it involves shoving your hand up your ass before shaking someone's hand. "You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you like, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly."

Staley went on to say, "A handful of troops here wanted pictures with G[eraldo] and autographs. A few shook his hand. Others here wanted to harm him, were disgusted with him, thought he should have been sent home in a Humvee (a 40-hour drive south through the desert). We later found out a few who shook his hand had put those hands in unmentionable places prior."

Hey Geraldo! How's it going? Sure we'll take a break from liberating some dead soldiers to talk to you. Hold on, I have to dig this thing out of my back pocket. Hold on... wait for it, yeah, that should do it. Allow me to shake your hand, sir!

hi there. // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 04.02.03
Hello. How's it going? Oh, that's nice.

Yeah? Huh. Wow, that's interesting.

Well, take it easy, then. Yep, ok, see you later.

it's official // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 04.01.03
Both Rachel and I made... the list. This reminds me of that scene in "The Jerk," where Steve Martin is all excited to finally get his name in the phone book, and then a sniper randomly picks his name out of the phone book and starts shooting at him.

Class of 2K3! See? I graduated, now give me a fucking job!

"The new phonebook's out! I'm somebody now!"

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