April 2004

gay biker buddies // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Saturday, 04.24.04
I was awoken this morning by two fellows outside my house talking about "goddamn faggots" at an unbelievably loud volume. Now, I admit, the subject of "goddamn faggots" is one that deserves the undivided attention of all within earshot, especially when the speaker is a big nasty biker and his big nasty biker buddy. After delivering his speech to his buddy in the next backyard over, both the biker and the biker buddy decided that revving their motorcycles would yield positive results on their "war against faggotry," especially at 7:00 on a Saturday morning. Oh, how they revved and revved and revved some more until, unfortunately, it was time to drive off into the rising sun. I'm not sure why the bikers needed to be awake so early (a baking class at the local community college, perhaps?), but I hope they return soon to hold another impromptu clan meeting. Keep on truckin,' my faggot-hating friends... I'll just sit here and update my goddamn faggot website at 7:30 in the morning.

revenge movie weekend // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 04.16.04
I'm sorry Marvel Comics, I love the Punisher, and it was one of the few comics that I followed as an angst-ridden middle schooler, but Kill Bill will be receiving my $8 this weekend. I'm slightly wary of comic book adaptations at the moment, as Hell Boy didn't live up to my surprisingly low expectations, and X-Men 2 was shit. Tonight, Rachel and I will be having a Kill Bill cum fest: Volume 1 has been rented from Blockbuster (since I refuse to buy it until it's packaged with Volume 2 and jam packed with featurettes that I'll never watch) and will be watched before checking out Volume 2 later in the evening. When we saw Volume 1 in the theater, I awoke the next morning with a mouth full of blood due to a faulty tonsillectomy stitch. Now I'll be seeing Vol 1 and 2 in the course of one night, so there's a good chance I'll bleed to death in my sleep. It's been nice knowing all of you.

subservient chicken // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Wednesday, 04.14.04
My sister sent me this link and I've been playing with it since I got home from work. That's one subservient chicken! So far my favorites are "Say a prayer," "turn out the lights" and "make a chicken sandwich." Also, I think some scientists put this together, but it kind of kills the subservient chicken mystique.

gonna get got // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 04.13.04
That was strange. I went to CompUSA on my lunch break to pick up a 6 pin to 6 pin firewire cable, and of course the only one they had was 14 feet long and $50, so I passed. I'm looking at all the nifty Mac stuff when I spot someone out of the corner of my eye that looked vaugely familiar. Eh, whatever, it can't be anyone I know since I'm about 45 minutes from home, so I go back to playing with an iMac's swivel arm. As I'm leaving, the guy I noticed starts walking up to the register and that's when I realized... it was the lead singer from one of my favorite bands The O, recently renamed Gonna Get Got. At least, I think it was. I know they ship their merchandise out of Jersey, so it's not completely impossible. But of course, I'm not going to be the idiot that walks up to him and looks like an ass. "Dur hur, hi, can you sign my CompUSA receipt?"

S.B.F.A. // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 04.05.04
I just realized something... it's the beginning of April, and I haven't received a single hit from creepy troglodytes searching the internet for SPRING BREAK FUCK ADVENTURES. Usually around this time of the year, I would receive at least 10 hits a day from people searching for SPRING BREAK FUCK ADVENTURES, even though we all know that this site is completely devoid of FUCK ADVENTURES, especially those of the SPRING BREAK variety. I'm not exactly sure what a SPRING BREAK FUCK ADVENTURE consists of, besides statutory rape charges and nervous men in their early 20's running to the closest pharmacy to see if the day after pill has reached over-the-counter status yet. "Fuck, dude! This unexpected pregnancy is really harshing my mellow!" I thought I had a SPRING BREAK FUCK ADVENTURE once, but it turns out I just went to Path Mark to dump all my loose change in one of those CoinStar machines. Close, but no FUCK ADVENTURE.

flux capacitor // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Sunday, 04.04.04
I got home late last night and forgot to set my clock back or forward or upside down or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to do, so I slipped into a wormhole for a few seconds this morning. My computer said 11:10. The clock next to my bed said 10:09. This site took sides with my Powerbook. So then I think to myself, Dammit, now I only slept 7 hours instead of 8, oh wait did I lose an hour or gain an hour and now I have so many things to do and I think I just lost an hour of time and why did I wake up with my underpants around my ankles and boy my ass hurts. Yes, I was assraped by time. It wasn't the first time, and I certainly hope it's not the last time...

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