Where can you find 700 contact lense cases, orphaned Lego pieces and tokens to an arcade that burned down 10 years ago? That's right, your junk drawer! It serves as a halfway-house for stuff too obscure to categorize, yet too sacred to throw away.

So, I created my own "virtual-reality techno Junk Drawer of the future" right here on thismayhurt.com. Not only will I be throwing shit in here whenever the mood strikes me, but so will my very special guest, Rachel "Why Are You Making Me Do This?" Corus. So strap yourselves in, as we're all bound to be on a crash course with "wackiness." Enjoy.

June 2005

Pee Ess Pee // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Tuesday, 06.28.05
Alright, I really need to remove that PSP link from the top of the main page because *drumroll* ... *continued drumroll* ... *cymbal* ... freeshit.com sites don't fucking work! And man, did I try. I even paid $10 to gain access to a huge database of other desperate cheapskates looking to trade referrals, and still nothing. I'd like to thank everyone that checked out the offers and even signed up, but nothing in life is free. Except for the thousands of illegally emulated games that I can now play on my PSP. Did I pay $250 for the ability to play Castlevania 3 while sitting on the toilet? I think we all know the answer to that. Also, if you're keeping score at home, the PSP gives me a grand total of 8 consoles, which includes an SNES, a Dreamcast, a PSTwo, 2 Xboxes, a Gamecube, a Nintendo DS and a PSP. This does not include consoles that I have sold when I was young and foolish: an NES, an N64, a GameGear (don't ask), a Playstation, and a Playstation 2 (sold it for the sexy PSTwo). I sold my NES and about 40 games to FuncoLand for $60 when I was 11 or 12. I'm not exactly sure what I spent the $60 on, but I'll bet it was snacks.

JGttM // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 06.17.05

"I'm John Lacki, and I'm full of ideas!"
special thanks to chuk for the donation!

STELLA! // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Thursday, 06.16.05
I can't believe Stella is coming to Comedy Central! They're a sketch comedy group comprised of three former State members: Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and David Wain. I've never seen them live, but they have tons of sketches online just waiting to be viewed and memorized. If I had to pick my favorites, I'd go with Bored, Whodunit, Pizza and Awkward, but they're all modern day classics. It will be interesting to see how well they make the transition to basic cable, especially without the use of huge black dildoes and blatant anti-semitism (they're all Jewish). But if the first episode is any indication, they should be ok.

how's my driving? // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Monday, 06.13.05
Sitting at a red light this afternoon, behind a car that was behind another car at a red light. Both of the cars ahead of me have their blinkers on, and since it's legal to turn on red in Jersey as long as there are no children present or if there are children present but they're brandishing automatic weapons, the fellow up front could have safely turned. But he wasn't turning, and the driver ahead of me decided to convey his frustrations through interpretive horn honking. Eh, whatever, I'm not being beeped at, so I decide to doze off or play with the radio or do whatever it is I do while I'm waiting for traffical situations to rectify themselves. That's when I hear it. *Plink* *Plink* *Plink* What an odd noise to hear in between loud horn honks. The light's still red, and the noise is getting more persistent now... *P-PLINK* *P-PLINK* What the fuck? Is there something in here making that noise? I'm looking all over the car, and that's when I see it. Do you want to know what makes a P-Plink, P-Plink sound in the middle of traffic on a typical Jersey afternoon? That's the sound of the driver in the car up front pelting the car behind him with loose change. "Honk your horn at me, will you?" What an asshole. As the light turned green, the guy up front must have found his hidden stash of laundry quarters in between the seats, as he let loose a barrage of change that could have been put to so much good use... like, at least 15 games of Metal Slug or that Addams Family pinball machine. But man, it was almost kind of beautiful, watching this asshole toss change over his shoulder and onto another asshole's hood and windshield without even looking. I wanted to follow them, but I'm not very good at breaking up fights, or picking loose change from my teeth.

whoa. // lacki threw this into the junk drawer on Friday, 06.10.05
Free your mind.
-- courtesy of the sa goons

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